by Ashley Pennewill<\/p>\n
Sometimes, maybe oftentimes, it\u2019s our feelings that are running the show. In relationships that are close with spouse, children and friends, in times of stress, exhaustion and frustration, feelings can come out in not the prettiest of ways.<\/p>\n
Let\u2019s demystify feelings \u2013 this alone can totally change your life. Here we go\u2026 Feelings are basically the body\u2019s reaction to what\u2019s going on or to what you\u2019re thinking about. They are normal. They aren\u2019t bad, and there\u2019s nothing wrong with them. They come, they stay a while and then they go. It\u2019s a lot like the weather. When you notice anger in your body, for instance, don\u2019t make a big deal out of it. Just breathe, feel it, let it be there and let it go. Don\u2019t hold on to it. It\u2019ll pass when it\u2019s time for it to pass.<\/p>\n
How do they get stuck? It has to do with the \u201cdon\u2019t hold on to them\u201d part. When we resist them and make a problem out of them, like calling them “bad,” we\u2019re holding on and they can\u2019t pass. When we tell a story about them, we\u2019re holding on. This story includes who, what, when, where, why and how. It often runs on repeat in our minds, and there\u2019s usually at least some amount of exaggeration. The story might seem totally justified, but we\u2019re still getting stuck in the feeling. If you lose the words and just feel and let it go, it\u2019ll pass as quickly as it can. It\u2019s the fastest way out.<\/p>\n
When you notice any feeling in your body that you don\u2019t like (i.e., anger, sadness, stress, anxiety, loneliness, frustration), the best thing to do is to stop thinking immediately. Go inward and check out what you\u2019re carrying at that moment. Take stock of what\u2019s there. Then make the decision to let go of it. Don\u2019t hold on to it \u2013 just let go. Totally let go. Breathe and relax those specific areas in the body where you feel it. This allows it to be there for as long as it will naturally and normally be there, but more importantly it allows it to leave when it\u2019s ready to leave. That\u2019s the normal, everyday feeling process for a human. No big deal.<\/p>\n
When we have the story running in our head that makes the feeling into a problem, we\u2019re not allowing it to pass like it normally would. We\u2019ve made it bigger than it is, and we\u2019ve closed the doors. It came in normally, but now we\u2019re not letting it leave normally. Always keep in mind that feelings are in the realm of the temporary \u2013 no feeling has ever been permanent. Some stay longer than we\u2019d like, and I realize that some people can barely remember when they weren\u2019t depressed, for instance, but there was a time. This is still in the realm of the temporary. Feelings come and they go. That\u2019s the law of feelings.<\/p>\n
Finally, note that most people suppress or express. And if they suppress, they\u2019ll eventually express when the feelings boil over. Expressing means yelling, fighting, etc. It can be much more subtle than that, too, especially with people who know each other well like spouses or other family members. What can we do en lieu of suppressing and expressing? Feeling. That\u2019s it. If you want to really understand this, read about The Sedona Method, by Hale Dwoskin. This book goes very deep with it. And it\u2019s as simple as it is deep, which is the kind of thing I like. Serious Jedi stuff. Enjoy!<\/p>\n
Ashley Pennewill lives in Pensacola where he provides counseling services to anyone interested in getting out of the way of the awesome life that’s just beneath the surface waiting to be discovered. You can learn more about letting go and waking up at acleanmind.com.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" by Ashley Pennewill Sometimes, maybe oftentimes, it\u2019s our feelings that are running the show. In relationships that are close with spouse, children and friends, in times of stress, exhaustion and frustration, feelings can come out in not the prettiest of ways. Let\u2019s demystify feelings \u2013 this alone can totally change your life. Here we go\u2026 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":942,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_cbd_carousel_blocks":"[]","footnotes":""},"categories":[12,72],"tags":[298,128,297],"class_list":["post-941","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-health","category-self-help","tag-balance","tag-emotional","tag-feelings"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/tallahasseefamilymagazine.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/941","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/tallahasseefamilymagazine.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/tallahasseefamilymagazine.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tallahasseefamilymagazine.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tallahasseefamilymagazine.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=941"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/tallahasseefamilymagazine.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/941\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":943,"href":"http:\/\/tallahasseefamilymagazine.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/941\/revisions\/943"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tallahasseefamilymagazine.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/942"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/tallahasseefamilymagazine.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=941"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tallahasseefamilymagazine.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=941"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tallahasseefamilymagazine.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=941"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}