by Nicole Dempsey<\/p>\n
I\u2019ll never forget the day my parents told me that\u00a0our beloved golden retriever, Andy, had died.\u00a0He was a young dog, only about three at the\u00a0time, and he was struck by a car as he was running\u00a0around the farm. He was my best friend\u00a0and I could not imagine ever being able to get\u00a0over him no longer being there every afternoon\u00a0to greet us as we got off the school bus. Losing a beloved\u00a0family pet is a devastating event for the entire family. For a\u00a0child it is often their first experience with losing a loved one.\u00a0Whether Sammy, the cat, dies from natural age or there is\u00a0an incident, it is good to be prepared to support your child\u00a0through the process. Below are some tips on how to handle\u00a0the loss of your family pet with your children.<\/p>\n
Tell the truth and be honest. Pick a place where your child\u00a0will feel comfortable and you can talk to them with little distraction.\u00a0Try to imagine how you\u2019re going to tell them ahead\u00a0of time. Children respond in a variety of ways; therefore,\u00a0keep what you say to a minimum and wait to see if they ask\u00a0for more information. Some children may be okay with simply,\u00a0\u201cAndy died when\u00a0he was hit by a car.\u201d<\/p>\n
It\u2019s normal for you\u00a0to want to spare your\u00a0child\u2019s feelings, but\u00a0try to remain honest.\u00a0Avoid telling them stories, such as \u201cBuster ran away,\u201d\u00a0or \u201cPete went to visit relatives.\u201d This will only set them up\u00a0for more heartache later once they realize that you weren\u2019t\u00a0completely forthcoming. You, as a parent, may lose some\u00a0credibility and your child may become angry. In addition,\u00a0children have very vivid imaginations and may create stories\u00a0in their mind about Pete\u2019s return.<\/p>\n
Prepare yourself to talk about death in general. The event\u00a0may also ignite a sense of curiosity about what happens to us\u00a0when we die. Younger children tend to become concerned\u00a0about the possibility of you dying; whereas, older children\u00a0and tweens may become consumed with thoughts and anxieties\u00a0surrounding their own mortality.<\/p>\n
Give your child options for how they would like to honor\u00a0their pet. Some children may want to draw a picture of\u00a0their pet, while others may want to plant a flower. Or, some\u00a0children may want to see their dead pet and may also want\u00a0to hold a burial service. Whatever choice your child makes,\u00a0follow their lead.<\/p>\n
Give your child the space to express their thoughts and\u00a0feelings. Children may experience many different types of\u00a0emotions, from sadness to anger and even some guilt. Help\u00a0them identify and name their feelings. Also, try to show patience\u00a0and understanding, even when it feels like your child\u00a0is continuously talking about the pet\u2019s death. This \u201cpreoccupation\u201d\u00a0is normal and will eventually subside.<\/p>\n
In addition to these tips, a great book you can read with\u00a0your child is \u201cThe Tenth Good Thing About Barney\u201d by\u00a0Judith Viorst. The book is about how a boy and his family\u00a0decide to say goodbye to their cat, Barney.<\/p>\n
Nicole Dempsey is a therapist at Lee\u2019s\u00a0Place, which specializes in providing\u00a0grief, loss, and trauma services to\u00a0individuals and families.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" by Nicole Dempsey I\u2019ll never forget the day my parents told me that\u00a0our beloved golden retriever, Andy, had died.\u00a0He was a young dog, only about three at the\u00a0time, and he was struck by a car as he was running\u00a0around the farm. He was my best friend\u00a0and I could not imagine ever being able to get\u00a0over […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":857,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_cbd_carousel_blocks":"[]","footnotes":""},"categories":[173],"tags":[136,135,137,103],"class_list":["post-856","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-pets","tag-death","tag-grief","tag-loss","tag-pet"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/tallahasseefamilymagazine.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/856","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/tallahasseefamilymagazine.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/tallahasseefamilymagazine.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tallahasseefamilymagazine.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tallahasseefamilymagazine.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=856"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/tallahasseefamilymagazine.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/856\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":858,"href":"http:\/\/tallahasseefamilymagazine.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/856\/revisions\/858"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tallahasseefamilymagazine.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/857"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/tallahasseefamilymagazine.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=856"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tallahasseefamilymagazine.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=856"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/tallahasseefamilymagazine.com\/wordpress\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=856"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}